It’s hard to believe that everything that has happened this year, started one year ago on November 3, 2010.
That’s the day I went for what I thought was going to be a baseline mammogram at the age of 30. I never even thought that it would end up with a cancer diagnosis and then bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction. This has been a long year.
Cancer was always a possibility in the back of my mind. When you lose a parent at a young age to cancer, the worry is always there that it’s going to happen to you. I was 11 when my mom was diagnosed at the age of 42. She died a year later. I grew up quickly at 12 years old. I also learned to keep everything in and not to depend on anyone else. I was going to be the best and do it on my own. This year was a lesson in letting others help me. Even at the hospital it was hard for me to push the button for help, so I did it as little as possible.
At home it’s even harder to ask for help because i don’t want to feel like a burden to Jason. I know he doesn’t see me that way, but I feel that way when I need help just to get up and go to the restroom. He is wonderful to me and I hope he knows how much I love him and am so grateful to have him in my life. It’s been a bumpy road but I guess that’s where the vows: for better or for worse and in sickness and in health come in to play.