Uncertainty

I’m going to try to get back into blogging and I figured I would use some of the prompts from the NaBloPoMo March 2012 challenge.  I’m not necessarily going to blog everyday, but we’ll see what happens.

March 1st:  How do you feel about uncertainty? Is it exciting or scary?

I do not like uncertainty.  The not knowing what is going to happen is always a scary thing. I like to be in control and that includes knowing the path my life is going down.

I guess the whole cancer thing tried to cleanse me of that notion because I definitely never saw that one coming.  Oh, I knew that it was a possibility in the future, but never in my wildest dreams thought that at 31 I would be dealing with it or at 32 I would be facing a hysterectomy and oophorectomy to get rid of my ovarian cancer risk.  It bothers me that I don’t know what my life will be like after the surgery.  What menopause symptoms will I have?  Will the surgery cause other issues inside my body?

There’s also uncertainty when your husband is a coach.  Athletic Directors and Head Coaches change jobs every few years and with that change comes the uncertainty of whether or not you are asked to move with them. If you choose to stay is the new A/D going to let you stay in your current coaching positions and teaching assignments.  It’s always up in the air.

I like for my life to be neat and orderly and to know what’s going to happen tomorrow.  I know life doesn’t happen that way, but I just have to learn how to roll with the punches and be ready for the uncertainty and learn how to deal with it.

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